I don't use the expression 'is goals' but tbh, Hillary Clinton is goals. She is the goal of all the goals that ever goaled #goals. I could wax poetic on her politics. Or laud her for being one of 27 women who graduated from Yale Law School out of class of 235. Perhaps applaud her for handling that whole Lewinsky scandal with true millenial-tinged grace - instead of beating the living s@%! out of Bill, she scarfed down scrumdiddlyumptious mocha cakes proving once again she really is one of us. And because I'm convinced Hillary Clinton will become the next President, I imagined what she would wear to her Presidential Inauguration and for her struts around the White House. Perhaps I'm counting these chickens before they hatch but I just can't imagine that Lord Voldemort in Muggle form (here's looking at you, Trump!) will become the next Prez. Perhaps, a long-awaited stint as touring comedian is his next great career move. But enough about that princess, let's keep talkin' about the Queen.
For her Presidential Inauguration, I patriotically Photoshopped Hill into this Dior Haute Couture fall 2012 runway look (pictured above). A fashion-forward coat is the object du jour for the women of the White House. And as obsessed as I was with Michelle Obama's covetable candy-colored coats (sorry Jackie O, Mrs. Obama is the most stylish First Lady in history), I want Clinton to take the oath in a navy coat that reads HPIC (you know, Head President in Charge).
And because Mrs. President will need good outfits for representing the free world in style, I have combed through runway looks from the recent spring 2016 shows - American designers only, of course (minus the Dior lewk above - I couldn't help myself, it was so Hillary). And since it's a stretch to see Mrs. President wearing these looks right off the catwalk, I have some dressing tips for her to take these from the runway to reality.
HILLARY CLINTON SHOULD WEAR OSCAR DE LA RENTA BY PETER COPPING
KEEP: Everything about this.
SUBTRACT: Band-aid on model's foot.
ADD: Glitzy American flag pin to white shirt because #patriotism.
HILLARY CLINTON SHOULD WEAR CAROLINA HERRERA
KEEP: The perfect blow-out for when Hill decides to let the hurr grow out. The midnight blue velvet suit. The expression on the model's face which seems to say 'wut?' and will come in handy when talking to boring misogynists who try to not bow down to the Queen.
SUBTRACT: Shoulder-grazing, annoying-ass earrings that will somehow get tangled in Hillary's bob. Extension chord belt. Dysfunctional sandals.
HILLARY CLINTON SHOULD WEAR MARC JACOBS
KEEP: The preppy dominatrix vibe. The flushed cheeks. The hand in pocket thing for easy, breezy, beautiful President.
SUBTRACT: The flatforms from hell. (I do love 'em though but Hillary wearing these would be endless fodder the an SNL skit).
And because you can never have enough fashunz, here are some other runway looks Hill can pull off with the right styling and alterations (some of these hemlines need a little lengthening and some of these earrings gots to go).