FRINGE AND FLORAL?

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 15th

WHAT TO WEAR TO HOLIDAY PARTIES

It's that time of year again. The one where you drink four too many cocktails and gain seventeen pounds in a week (don't worry - you'll lose it all in the new year, or so your New Years' resolutions promise). It's holiday season again! You already bought mommy those earrings she not-so-subtly hinted at and you're already furiously fielding through gaggles of group texts about New Year's Eve plans.

And while you love Christmas and the promise of an ugly sweater party - don't worry, I'll do a round-up of all the best ugly sweaters really soon! - your company holiday party is this week!

And because you ended up ferociously flirting with that intern followed-by a classless vomit session in the bathroom (you forgot what tequila does to your liver) at last year's holiday party, it's time to redeem yourself and let those SLAY bells ring. Your #goals: impress the boss and shut that minx of a secretary up (you know that secretary - she who hyena-cackles at her own jokes and has a different Forever21 faux-fur dress for each day of the week).

Every girl in the office will be wearing some type of sparkle with some form of cheap sweater so why not opt for a fashion-forward look that might have sprung joyously from the pages of Harper's Bazaar?

A festive fringe jacket (this one is Saint Laurent) coupled with a Hibiscus-print tiered dress (thank you for the fashionz Marc Jacobs!) is the bee's knees. The juxtaposition of fringe and florals makes this look sing with style! Pair with chocolate brown booties and a Christmas-colored bag and you're ready to knock the socks off of that snooty little secretary. Goodbye socks! Farewell Felicia!

HOW TO NOT FREEZE TO DEATH (AND STILL RESEMBLE A STYLISH MOFO)

It's beginning to get chilly outside, you have to go to work but really want to hide. Fear not though for I have here, a coat so beautiful, warm, and queer. It's weird, it's crazy, I admit, but it keeps you toasty and not looking like shit. This Shrimps jacket is leopard and pink, wear it to work then get a freakin' drink. A pretty pink Cosmo is now in your grip, life is beautiful, you squeal, sequin Fendi swinging at your hip. 

SHOP THIS OUTFIX

Jacket by Shrimps, $605, at Matches / Trousers by Etro, $320, at Farfetch / Pumps by Stuart Weitzman, $365, at Stuart Weitzman / Vintage Bag by Fendi, $1600, at Labellov

Funky Footwork

It happens ever so often when you fall so hard in love that your stomach may fall out of your butt. So, in honor of that beautiful visual and romantic sentiment, I bring you Sophia Webster shoes that did just this to my stomach / butt forty times.

After laying love-struck eyes upon these maribou-trimmed patent-leather sandals and fantasizing about a life where money grows on trees, I thought to break away from my usual tradition of showing you outfits you should be wearing to showcasing the shoes you should be shopping. Sophia Webster's stand-out shoe is an investment of the lifetime. As the newly-minted queen of zany shoez, Webster has me lolly-gagging like a wine-drunk rugrat.Favored by daring darlings Rihanna and Rita Ora and hot on the literal heels of a cool collab with J. Crew, her designs scream with style that is wildly eccentric but undeniably optimistic! You can't help but smile at them.

But alas, when dealing in this realm of raving and ranting sartorialism, the question arises: what does one wear said shoe with? Well, for starters: you could take it to the extreme and rock quirky menswear like this nifty number. Or perhaps a wee bit more toned-down so as to let the shoes do the talking and wear something more along the lines of this. Either direction you decide to go, make sure to smile. When wearing shoes that embody the singular sensation of a racoon having sex with Ziggy Stardust, a smile is required.

Shop Here!