TIMELESSLY TORY

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 16th

WHAT TO WEAR TO HOLIDAY PARTIES

You know that now-infamous scene in The Devil Wears Prada where the she-devil Miranda Priestley herself chews out a staffer when she suggests an editorial on florals? Well, florals for spring might not have been groundbreaking buuuuutt for winter, hell yeah fuckin' right they are.

This Tory Burch dress has that elusive magic of quiet elegance that renders it timeless and season-less. Cactus, robin's egg blue orchards, and ivy leaves twist and turn in this eye-catching print making it an unstoppable force of fashion in your wardrobe.

This dress might not scream millenial bad b@%$# with 200 thousand Instagram followers but that is the beauty of styling, ain't it? Worn with Chanel slingbacks, a ladylike bag and fur, this dress would be a vision on mommacita. But paired with a shearling-trimmed leather jacket (this one is a gorgeous See by Chloé), a pop of pink clutch (Marni on sale at The Outnet!), and quirky oxford heels (Clarks FTW!), this dress has a youthful fresh vibe that works now and later.

Yes, you will be wearing this dress for the next 75 years so this is good use of your pennies, nickels, and dimes in that eye-sore of a piggy bank that stands proudly on your nightstand.

Plus, a dress with aforementioned timeless elegance can take you to Cousin Benny's Bar Mitzvah paired with minimalist pumps, and to Christmas dinner with the fam (yes, you celebrate Chrismukkah because Seth Cohen taught you well!) It will also take you to a beachside dinner for that Hawaii vacation you've been fantasizing about since you maxed out your credit card to book your tickets three months ago.

So take my word for it and wear this outfit to a holiday party this year. And take my word for it and wear this dress to a holiday party every year till you become that fabulous grandma who swears too much, wears sequin berets with oversize bifocals and smokes pink cigars in Atlantic City (if she isn't actually #goals, I have no idea who is). 

Classic / Cool

There's fashion and then there's this. My eyes popped out of my head like a freakin' Looney Tune who has just spent the day on acid with Miley Cyrus when I laid eyes on a woman who dared to wear a Valentino bow-blouse and bohemian-riche skirt (both undoubtedly editorial hits of the season) with Nike Air Force 1s. She is freaking cool. It got me thinking about something else that's freaking cool: the Adidas Stan Smith - the unlikely 'It' shoe of this summer. Leandra Medine thinks so and I love her the way I love corn dogs after six margaritas which is to say - I love her more than is healthy.

I'm drinking the Kool Aid on these sneaks and this look packs a punch! Brief Interlude: I heretofore have gathered little to no information on the elusive Stan Smith other than that the being in question held a tennis raquet and was good at such an art form. I care for sports like the heterosexual male cares for Girls. Now that this tangent has taken its course, case-in-point time. A delightful knot-tie blouse + funky yet fab florals + Stan Smiths = classic yet cool, or cool yet classic - pick your poison, I'll pick mine. Like a middle-aged stripper moonlighting as a Pre-School teacher by day, this look may cause scratching of head (and inevitably dandruff along with that) but the fashion-frenzied girls who pronounce Proenza Schouler the right way, will know you got it. Just like this girl - yes, I'm still thinking about her - she who wears Valentino with Nikes and dates a bearded man presumably from Brooklyn but actually from Australia.

Shop this Outfix, fickle friends and fair-weathered family:

Blouse - H&M

Pants - Zara

Lips - Tom Ford

Sneakers - Adidas

Bag - J. Crew