START-UP YOUR ENGINE!

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17th

WHAT TO WEAR TO HOLIDAY PARTIES, PART 3

THE SCENARIO: The super-cool start-up you work for is throwing a holiday party that's sure to be sheer drunken debauchery.

THE CORE ITEM: Coach's envy-inducing varsity jacket.

If you work in an office oozing with creativity, this is the outfit for you. Only in an office with awesomely nerdy graphic designers and quirky bespectacled feminists would this look make sense.

I mean, a bepatched varsity jacket + flare-leg cargo-jean hybrids + glossy silver sneakers (YAS RAF SIMONS, YAS!) + a handbag festooned with mini Lego pieces spelling 'LOVE'? Yeahhhhh, only to be worn at a holiday party for a cool company - you know the one that has like a ping-pong table in the kitchen and office happy hours where they bring in kegs. Yes, kegs. 

So get ready to guzzle hangover-inducing amounts of alcohol, dance with that cute nerd in IT and swing your way around this holiday party in style.

And even though the GIF above is sooper creativez and closely resembles the experience of either dancing on a float at a summertime Gay Pride Parade or rolling face at a Miley Cyrus concert, I'm going to give you the outfit with a less bipolar background right here. Click the images below this look to shop them if you feel like spending some moolah!

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FRINGE AND FLORAL?

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 15th

WHAT TO WEAR TO HOLIDAY PARTIES

It's that time of year again. The one where you drink four too many cocktails and gain seventeen pounds in a week (don't worry - you'll lose it all in the new year, or so your New Years' resolutions promise). It's holiday season again! You already bought mommy those earrings she not-so-subtly hinted at and you're already furiously fielding through gaggles of group texts about New Year's Eve plans.

And while you love Christmas and the promise of an ugly sweater party - don't worry, I'll do a round-up of all the best ugly sweaters really soon! - your company holiday party is this week!

And because you ended up ferociously flirting with that intern followed-by a classless vomit session in the bathroom (you forgot what tequila does to your liver) at last year's holiday party, it's time to redeem yourself and let those SLAY bells ring. Your #goals: impress the boss and shut that minx of a secretary up (you know that secretary - she who hyena-cackles at her own jokes and has a different Forever21 faux-fur dress for each day of the week).

Every girl in the office will be wearing some type of sparkle with some form of cheap sweater so why not opt for a fashion-forward look that might have sprung joyously from the pages of Harper's Bazaar?

A festive fringe jacket (this one is Saint Laurent) coupled with a Hibiscus-print tiered dress (thank you for the fashionz Marc Jacobs!) is the bee's knees. The juxtaposition of fringe and florals makes this look sing with style! Pair with chocolate brown booties and a Christmas-colored bag and you're ready to knock the socks off of that snooty little secretary. Goodbye socks! Farewell Felicia!

THE B@$%! WEARS BALENCIAGA

DECEMBER 9th

If the Devil wears Prada then the bitch wears Balenciaga. Excuse my French but when you invent the most brilliant phrase of all time - OF ALL TIME! - you have to share it with the world dontcha? Well I did and you're very welcome. Actually, to pay me back, you can buy me this coat. It's a Balenciaga beauty - the 80's biker dude collar and splotches of artfully-applied pink spray-paint embroidery take this bouclé jacket from ladies who lunch to bitches who brunch.

In other words, the cocoon shape and tweedy look could have just another coat for Grandma Sadie's collection but in the hands of Alexander Wang (who tragically has dipset from the house of B), this coat is now for Grannie Baddie Winkle. In still more words, the coat is just freakin' cool!

And because you've been wearing that same puffer for the past three years (same here), it's time to invest in a coat that screams with style. You owe this Balenciaga coat to yourself for being so gosh darn beautiful. So what if you have to sacrifice six months of eating? Isn't it worth it in the end!

Anyways, when wearing coats that hit just above the knee like this Balenciaga, do yourself a favor and stick ONLY to sleek, tailored pants. They keep the silhouette looking trim and are office-appropriate for your 9 to 5 grind. Grab a glossy structured bag - M2Malletier are a thing of beauty - and a ankle-strap sandal with a little bit of edge (these Alexander Wang ones pictured are on sale so clickity-click quick!) And voila! You have an outfit that's quicher than quiche.