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The Outfix

December 9, 2015

THE B@$%! WEARS BALENCIAGA

by Matthew T. Murray in SEX APPEAL, PLAY, WORK, NIGHT OUT, GIRLS NIGHT OUT


DECEMBER 9th

If the Devil wears Prada then the bitch wears Balenciaga. Excuse my French but when you invent the most brilliant phrase of all time - OF ALL TIME! - you have to share it with the world dontcha? Well I did and you're very welcome. Actually, to pay me back, you can buy me this coat. It's a Balenciaga beauty - the 80's biker dude collar and splotches of artfully-applied pink spray-paint embroidery take this bouclé jacket from ladies who lunch to bitches who brunch.

In other words, the cocoon shape and tweedy look could have just another coat for Grandma Sadie's collection but in the hands of Alexander Wang (who tragically has dipset from the house of B), this coat is now for Grannie Baddie Winkle. In still more words, the coat is just freakin' cool!

And because you've been wearing that same puffer for the past three years (same here), it's time to invest in a coat that screams with style. You owe this Balenciaga coat to yourself for being so gosh darn beautiful. So what if you have to sacrifice six months of eating? Isn't it worth it in the end!

Anyways, when wearing coats that hit just above the knee like this Balenciaga, do yourself a favor and stick ONLY to sleek, tailored pants. They keep the silhouette looking trim and are office-appropriate for your 9 to 5 grind. Grab a glossy structured bag - M2Malletier are a thing of beauty - and a ankle-strap sandal with a little bit of edge (these Alexander Wang ones pictured are on sale so clickity-click quick!) And voila! You have an outfit that's quicher than quiche. 

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Alexander Wang at ShopBazaar.jpg


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TAGS: Balenciaga, rachel comey, alexander wang, alexander mcqueen, jacket, pant, stiletto, sandal, bag, classy, ladylike bag


December 8, 2015

VICTORIA'S SECRET VAMP

by Matthew T. Murray in DATE NIGHT, GIRLS NIGHT OUT


TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8th

It's T-minus 30 minutes until the best night of the year for horny teenage boys and faux-fur-vest-wearing girls who shout 'goals' excessively in public commences. Yup, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2015 is here!

And while many chicks will be watching the show while binge-eating pizza and crying that their bodies will never be as tanned or toned, I think this is the time to remind yourself that you too are a Victoria's Secret model. At the end of the day, you gotta remind yourself you're a sexy, heart-breaking, boner-inducing beast. You may as well be on the runway strutting side-by-side with Candice.

So in honor of the delusional thought that you too were created in a top-secret Swedish laboratory like the rest of the Angels, it's time to vamp it up tonight. Pair a sex kitten mini-dress with studded heels and a knuckleduster clutch. This dress is Anthony Vaccarello and judging by the tantalizing hemlines and sexually-stimulating cutouts, it's understandable that the Giseles and the Gigis of the world can't get enough of him.

So it's now time to remember you are Behati! You are Gigi! You are Adriana! And if you can't give yourself a pat on the back for being drop dead gorgeous, perhaps it's time to reach for that eighth slice of pepperoni pizza (diet starts tomorrow!)

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TAGS: date night, night out, anthony vaccarello, alexander mcqueen, christian louboutin, farfetch, intermix, netaporter


December 7, 2015

PENNY LANE IS CALLING FROM HER GRAVE

by Matthew T. Murray in DAYTIME DRESSING, BRUNCH LOOK


MONDAY, DECEMBER 7th

I have to go eat latkes right now so I'll be briefer than Lindsay Lohan's rehab stints here. What do you do when a super-cute, Brooklyn-dwelling, beard-wielding, brand-partaking music dude asks you to go see one of his shows at *insert random dive bar here* on a Monday night? You wear an outfit Penny Lane would've approved of.

Fashion is frolicking around with this whole '70s spiel (that's Yiddish so 'SCHHH' sound before 'piel' - sorry it's Hannukah so I'm in quite the Judaica mood). And if that isn't quite your schtick (plz refer back to spiel hyperlink), that's alright but you should still invest in a fuzzy wuzzy shearling coat. They are everywhere! Topshop and Coach have super-cool options but my favorite is the J.W. Anderson, pictured above. Pair with vintage-vibe jeans, a suede handbag, and a great pair of winter-ready boots and you've got a modern take on the 70s and are ready to hang out with your new boyfriend of the week ('CUZ MY BOYFRIENDS WITH THE BAND, HE PLAYS GUITAR...)

Now I'mma go eat some latkes and light the menorah but see you tomorrow again, ladiez! P.S. The jeans are on sale and the bag is under $100!

JACKET by J.W. Anderson / JEANS by Rachel Comey / BAG by Zara / BOOTS by Stuart Weitzman

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