Christmas with DVF

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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25th

WHAT TO WEAR FOR CHRISTMAS

I'm obsessed with Diane von Furstenberg. Her words of wisdom, her vision for female empowerment, her beautiful fashions that never cease to take my breath away.

So in honor of the iconic designer, I put together a cheerful and festive Christmas outfit of all DVF goodies (minus the BaubleBar earrings).

If you're spending Christmas with the fam, this DVF dress is conservative enough to keep Granny happy unlike last year when she boisterously shouted how much you resembled a hooker every five minutes. If you're spending tonight with friends, loosen up yah buttons and spread the Christmas cheer to horny middle-aged men who are dying to catch a glimpse of cleavage (Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!)

What's even more amazing is that you don't even need a warm coat tonight - it's 65 degrees! -  so light it up chica! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS GIRLIES!

The Only Outfit You'll Ever Need

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 22nd

WHAT TO WEAR ANYWHERE

THE SCENARIO: For the days you feel you have nothing to wear and spend hours mulling over every item in your closet, you should wear this.

THE CORE ITEM: The perfect Sonia Rykiel sweater and Chanel slingback.

You know those times where you have absolutely nothing to wear, even though your overstuffed closet speaks an entire different story. Well, this outfit is eazy-peazy lemon squeezy. A stripe sweater (we all have one of those but this Sonia Rykiel one takes thaaaaa cakkeeee!) paired with high-rise vintage feel jeans and the MOST PERFECT SHOE IN HISTORY (check out 4 more ways to wear it here) is a great combination for an instantly stylish look.

You can wear this to work (so long as you work in a more casual environment); to Sunday afternoon brunch at Catch in the Meatpacking District; to plot revenge on your cheating husband like Amazing Amy in Gone Girl. I mean, the places and scenarios to wear this look really are endless.

The pop of red bag and the forties-style shades add a whiff of sophistication. Swap out the slingbacks for some sexy Loboutins for date night or after-work happy hour. 

THE B@$%! WEARS BALENCIAGA

DECEMBER 9th

If the Devil wears Prada then the bitch wears Balenciaga. Excuse my French but when you invent the most brilliant phrase of all time - OF ALL TIME! - you have to share it with the world dontcha? Well I did and you're very welcome. Actually, to pay me back, you can buy me this coat. It's a Balenciaga beauty - the 80's biker dude collar and splotches of artfully-applied pink spray-paint embroidery take this bouclé jacket from ladies who lunch to bitches who brunch.

In other words, the cocoon shape and tweedy look could have just another coat for Grandma Sadie's collection but in the hands of Alexander Wang (who tragically has dipset from the house of B), this coat is now for Grannie Baddie Winkle. In still more words, the coat is just freakin' cool!

And because you've been wearing that same puffer for the past three years (same here), it's time to invest in a coat that screams with style. You owe this Balenciaga coat to yourself for being so gosh darn beautiful. So what if you have to sacrifice six months of eating? Isn't it worth it in the end!

Anyways, when wearing coats that hit just above the knee like this Balenciaga, do yourself a favor and stick ONLY to sleek, tailored pants. They keep the silhouette looking trim and are office-appropriate for your 9 to 5 grind. Grab a glossy structured bag - M2Malletier are a thing of beauty - and a ankle-strap sandal with a little bit of edge (these Alexander Wang ones pictured are on sale so clickity-click quick!) And voila! You have an outfit that's quicher than quiche.