December 16, 2015

SLINGBACKING AROUND TOWN

by Matthew T. Murray in One Shoe Five Ways, The Year in Fashion 2015, Shoes, $hop

Fashion might be a fickle fucker but classics never go out of style. This season, Karl Lagerfeld revamped, refreshed, revitalized, and *you can insert another re- word here at your discretion, dear reader* the dual-toned Chanel slingback born in 1957 and popularized by grannies round the world.

As always, Lagerfeld has given the peacocks of fashion's flock another reason to spend their cold hard cash - 800 dollars to be exact. The fashionistas attending the spring fashion weeks across Earth seemed to get the top-secret memo that this indeed would be the 'IT' shoe that shall be worn with everything - white lace gowns, boyfriend jeans, crocodile skirts (check out the slideshow of all the SLINGBACKERS as I will henceforth endearingly call them). Some of the many Slingbackers slinging around town in their slingy slingbacks are pictured below (photos via Instagram, Man Repeller, Song of Style, and Tumblr).

Amy Astley and friend chanel Elle Australia.jpg

Chanel slingback - Cara Delevigne insta.jpg

And admittedly, I'm a little late on this story - this shoe has already been unanimously declared 'IT' by the powers that be months ago and its praises were sung by writers at Vogue and Elle already. But when dealing with a classic and looking back on FASHION'S BIGGEST MOMENTS THIS YEAR, I guess you can never really be late on chit-chatting about how great it is, amiright!?

This shoe is the type of shoe you can wear to that dreadful Monday morning meeting when the bags under your eyes are more eye-catching than the Céline bag swinging under your arm. It also works for a date with that halfway decent dude you scooped off Tinder - pair it with a sky-high mini-dress and leather jacket. Or perhaps you can rock the slingback at an upscale brunch with the gurlz when the idea of a heel is mentally disturbing after a night of binge-drinking and a flat just won't do. So pretty much, in conclusion, the Chanel slingback is BAE.

This slingback works with EVERYTHING. So here are 5 ways to wear it EVERYWHERE, coupled with ridiculous scenarios to make you LOL.

1. FOR BRUNCH WITH YOUR FRENEMIES YOU LOVINGLY REFER TO AS YOUR SQUAD BUT ONLY CHILL WITH BECAUSE THEY MAKE YOU FEEL AS IF YOU ARE BLAIR WALDORF IN THE NEVER-ENDING SEASON OF GOSSIP GIRL THAT IS YOUR LIFE

http://www.net-a-porter.com/us/en/product/609508?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-J84DHJLQkR4-_-Custom-_-LinkBuilder&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-2voXEwKET2RW8BKAScJQXw

2. WHEN YOU WANT TO CHANNEL YOUR INNER LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE GIRL BUT CAN'T FORGET THE 200 THOUSAND PEOPLE FOLLOWING YOU ON INSTAGRAM, EXPECTING BAD BITCHERY

3. WHEN YOU CAN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO QUIT YOUR DAY JOB TO BECOME A FULL-TIME ASTROLOGER-PSYCHIC HYBRID PENSIVELY PERCHED ON A STREET CORNER, OOOOR SIGN UP FOR THE STEM CELL CLONING EXPERIMENT IN KOREA THAT MAY RESULT IN BECOMING A CARBON COPY OF CATHERINE BABA

4. FOR THOSE WEEKEND JAUNTS TO THE COFFEE SHOP WHERE YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A POST-MODERN BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN VERSION OF CHER HOROWITZ

https://www.therealreal.com/products/women/jewelry/necklaces/chanel-candy-necklace

5. WHEN YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A PAGE OUT OF A J. CREW CATALOG BECAUSE JENNA LYONS IS BAE

December 3, 2015

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITNEY

by Matthew T. Murray in Sheezus

"It's Britney Bitch!" A three-word phrase that makes my heart flutter. A phrase that feels as if espresso has been injected into my body intravenously. The iconic catchphrase spoken before the beat of 'Gimme More' drops became viral before viral was a thang. Squadrons of teenage girls and gaggles of gays squealed in unanimous ecstasy every single time Britney announced it was in fact her.

And people were crafty little creatures too. Soon, it wasn't just Britney, bitch. It was Madeline. It was Sarah. It was David. Some way, some how, the phrase was universally socially acceptable as a way of announcing oneself's presence. I'll never forget one particular high school class clown strutting into a tear-jerkingly boring Math class fifteen minutes late yelling "It's Lindsay, bitch!" as she took her seat. Best. Math. Class. Ever.

But aside from the personalized spin-offs that "It's Britney, Bitch!" took on, it was a phrase that somehow - unintentionally perhaps - echoed empowerment. Circa 2016, everything is marketed to women as 'empowerment', whereas the real core-shaking empowerment seems to have lost its meaning, its pathos, its call to action.

With some bizarre twist and turn of events, "It's Britney, Bitch" gave girls a feeling of badass the mainstream media often prevents them from feeling. It was also the first time in my memory that I recall the expletive 'bitch' used in a non-pejorative way. And the idea of reclaiming a word used to vilify women as somewhat of an empowering slogan for women is the cornerstone for fighting for social justice in a world that refutes it.

Perhaps this is a stretch. Perhaps I'm overanalyzing a simple, three-worded catchphrase. But I just can't dismiss or trivialize anything Britney does.

So a happiest of (belated by 1 day) birthdays to Britney Spears! In celebration of the birth which arguably changed the course of history more so than Moses, I'm looking back on 5 fashion moments where this Queen brought the slayage. For kicks and gigs, I Photoshopped her into this jaw-dropping Marchesa gown since I would love to see her rock the living daylights out of it next time she reminds us why she's wifey for lifey.

Because she used a snake as an accessory.

Because even with smooshed boobies in a Michelle Kwan-like dress, she still kills it.

Because she invented hooker chic.

Because she invented denim.

Because she realized strategically-placed crystals could bring the sex appeal before JLo and Beyonce caught on.

December 3, 2015

CHANEL PRE-FALL: FILM NOIR MEETS GRUNGY GLAM

by Matthew T. Murray in Runway

Karl Lagerfeld conquered Rome with his gaggle of girls (Bella Hadid and Freja Beha Erichsen paraded down the runway) for the over-the-top Pre-Fall 2016 show. Bridgette Bardot beehives and smudgy kohl-rimmed eyes were post-modern film noir heroines meets adolescent Brooklyn hipsters.

There was something gloriously grungy at play here underneath the illusion of glamour. The Chanel woman of this season was chic, but disheveled. She was edgy, but refined. She was cool, but not pretentious. She was highbrow, but also lowbrow. Such is the magic of Chanel in Lagerfeld's hands - he manipulates contradictions and weaves a narrative so fantastical you wish you played a character in his lustrous world. This was one of my favorite collections Lagerfeld churned out of the fashun factory - another favorite is his Spring 2007 collection (remember those black sequin hot pants that were turning you on in every single flippin' fashion editorial for like 6 months!)

And because I made unashamed love to my MacBook Pro while clicking through this show, I played fairytale dress-up and Photoshopped my favorite Real Housewives of Beverly Hills into my favorite Chanel Pre-Fall looks. Anywhoozicles, my flavor flav flavorite looks from the show are below and trust when I tell yah, it was harder than a preteen browsing PornHub to pick these puppies out. Click on images to enlarge 'em: