THURSDAY: HOW TO WEAR A MOM JEAN

I'll spare you the poetics here and get straight to the point: this outfit is really cool. I never thought in a katrillion years that I'd be praising acid wash Mom jeans but this look works. Wear it to an FKA Twigs concert or test-drive it at work (only if you work in a non-stuffy job where coworkers understand why Tom Ford's days at Gucci were a pivotal moment in fashion). Add a leopard-y bag and quirky pilgrim shoes (both Miu Miu!) with an effortless tie-dye t-shirt and you've got a effortless but eye-catching look. Throw on this peach faux-fur jacket from Topshop to shield you against chilly temps and you've got a good look on your hands.

T-shirt by Raquel Allegra / Jeans by Objects without Meaning / Belt by ASOS / Bag by Miu Miu / Shoes by Miu Miu

Funky Footwork

It happens ever so often when you fall so hard in love that your stomach may fall out of your butt. So, in honor of that beautiful visual and romantic sentiment, I bring you Sophia Webster shoes that did just this to my stomach / butt forty times.

After laying love-struck eyes upon these maribou-trimmed patent-leather sandals and fantasizing about a life where money grows on trees, I thought to break away from my usual tradition of showing you outfits you should be wearing to showcasing the shoes you should be shopping. Sophia Webster's stand-out shoe is an investment of the lifetime. As the newly-minted queen of zany shoez, Webster has me lolly-gagging like a wine-drunk rugrat.Favored by daring darlings Rihanna and Rita Ora and hot on the literal heels of a cool collab with J. Crew, her designs scream with style that is wildly eccentric but undeniably optimistic! You can't help but smile at them.

But alas, when dealing in this realm of raving and ranting sartorialism, the question arises: what does one wear said shoe with? Well, for starters: you could take it to the extreme and rock quirky menswear like this nifty number. Or perhaps a wee bit more toned-down so as to let the shoes do the talking and wear something more along the lines of this. Either direction you decide to go, make sure to smile. When wearing shoes that embody the singular sensation of a racoon having sex with Ziggy Stardust, a smile is required.

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Equals Chic

Fashion, like all great endeavors in the great history of greatness, often broils down to a set of equations. This top + these jeans + that bag = a look but that top + these jeans + this bag = a GREAT look. Especially on a Monday morning when you feel as if you will need seventy shots of espresso to get through the day without bitching at your poor doe-eyed intern for no apparent reason again, you need that equation. And this my fabulous readers (thank you again for checking The Outfix - I'm indebted to you for reading and excited to keep giving you fresh content to feast upon!) is the equation for that polished chic look that seems unachievable after one-too-many margs over the weekend.

The top and skirt have such a high-gloss, expensive look that is guaranteed to up the ante of any accessory and shoe choice you pair it with. You can wear it together or as delightful seperates (the top with some boyfriend jeans, the skirt with a navy merino wool sweater).

This look has that equation - this shirt + this skirt + these perfect ankle-strap shoes equals chic. And when you equal chic, you're life ain't bleak (ok, no more rhyming, sorry about that...).

Shop this Outfix (and look how dang good it looks in da below)

Top by Reiss, $150  /  Skirt by Reiss, $170  /  Shoes by Club Monaco, $279