HOW TO NOT FREEZE TO DEATH (AND STILL RESEMBLE A STYLISH MOFO)

It's beginning to get chilly outside, you have to go to work but really want to hide. Fear not though for I have here, a coat so beautiful, warm, and queer. It's weird, it's crazy, I admit, but it keeps you toasty and not looking like shit. This Shrimps jacket is leopard and pink, wear it to work then get a freakin' drink. A pretty pink Cosmo is now in your grip, life is beautiful, you squeal, sequin Fendi swinging at your hip. 

SHOP THIS OUTFIX

Jacket by Shrimps, $605, at Matches / Trousers by Etro, $320, at Farfetch / Pumps by Stuart Weitzman, $365, at Stuart Weitzman / Vintage Bag by Fendi, $1600, at Labellov

HOW TO WEAR A FLARE

'Twas a Monday today and nothing was right; your boss was a bitch, it gave you a fright. You wore your flare jeans with a DVF blouse, and received compliments, even from a mouse. With your Zara black platforms and H&M bag, told your boss eff off for she was an old hag. You lost your job, but in the end no matter, you look amazing today and your stomach looks flatter.

- SHOP -

Blouse by Diane von Furstenberg, $248 / Belt by ASOS, $15 / Jeans by H&M, $30 / Shoes by Zara, $119 / Handbag by H&M, $49

(Sidenote: This is the relaunch of The Outfix after a very long year of missing it. This is my first post back with many exciting ones to come. Stay tuned!)

Funky Footwork

It happens ever so often when you fall so hard in love that your stomach may fall out of your butt. So, in honor of that beautiful visual and romantic sentiment, I bring you Sophia Webster shoes that did just this to my stomach / butt forty times.

After laying love-struck eyes upon these maribou-trimmed patent-leather sandals and fantasizing about a life where money grows on trees, I thought to break away from my usual tradition of showing you outfits you should be wearing to showcasing the shoes you should be shopping. Sophia Webster's stand-out shoe is an investment of the lifetime. As the newly-minted queen of zany shoez, Webster has me lolly-gagging like a wine-drunk rugrat.Favored by daring darlings Rihanna and Rita Ora and hot on the literal heels of a cool collab with J. Crew, her designs scream with style that is wildly eccentric but undeniably optimistic! You can't help but smile at them.

But alas, when dealing in this realm of raving and ranting sartorialism, the question arises: what does one wear said shoe with? Well, for starters: you could take it to the extreme and rock quirky menswear like this nifty number. Or perhaps a wee bit more toned-down so as to let the shoes do the talking and wear something more along the lines of this. Either direction you decide to go, make sure to smile. When wearing shoes that embody the singular sensation of a racoon having sex with Ziggy Stardust, a smile is required.

Shop Here!